The 5 Most Common Mistakes A Funeral Director Sees From Families Who Thought They Were Prepared
1. Believing The Person Who Handles Everything Has Told Everyone Else
Almost every family has one person who handles everything. The bills, the bank, which account the property tax comes out of. If you are reading this, it is probably you. In my house, it is me.
Do it for long enough and it feels like your husband and your kids must know by now. In my experience, they rarely do. Watching someone run a household for thirty years is not the same as knowing how it works.
When I ask a family which bank the household account is with, I often get two different answers from two of the children. Nobody ever thought to write it down for them.
The families who sense this usually do the sensible thing next. They see an attorney.
2. Thinking The Will Takes Care Of It
These are the careful families. They sign a will, name an executor, and tell the kids it is all taken care of.
The attorney does good work. The will gets handled and the court letters come through. Then the family walks out holding everything the law does not touch: the pension or 401(k) that needs a form, the electricity account in one name, the subscriptions still billing a card, the savings account at a second bank nobody knew about.
The will says who gets what. It does not say where anything is. This is the difference I draw for families.
| What Your Will Covers | What Your Kids Need On Day One |
|---|---|
| Who gets the house | Which account pays the mortgage and property tax |
| Who gets your savings | Which banks you use, and which accounts are in your name alone |
| Who your executor is | Who to call first, and how to reach them |
| What each child receives | Every login, and the email and number it recovers to |
| Who takes the dog | The vet, the plumber and the spare key |
3. Writing Down The Passwords, But Not The Accounts
So the next thing careful families do is write down the passwords. It is a good instinct, and it only covers part of it.
In 2011, a family could find the whole shape of a life by opening the mail. Wait a few weeks and it all came through the mailbox: bank statements, the pension statement, the mortgage, the bills. None of that arrives now. Statements went paperless, and the bills pay themselves.
That means a password only helps if your kids know the account exists. The first thing they need is the list of what there is: every bank, every automatic payment, every subscription, and which card each one is on. Canceling a card does not cancel what is billed to it. Many services simply try the next card on file.
Then come the parts of a household nobody thinks of as accounts: who mows the lawn, the plumber you trust, the neighbor with the spare key.
4. Writing The Password, But Not The Way Back In
Even with the list and the passwords, there is one more door.
Your son has the password. He types it correctly, and the screen answers with something else: a code sent to a cell number that no longer exists, a reset link sent to an old email nobody has opened in years, or a code inside an authenticator app he has never seen.
Those old inboxes do not wait. Yahoo closes a mailbox after twelve months without a sign-in. Google can delete an inactive account after two years.
Every password book I have been handed had a line for the password. Almost none had a line for what comes after it: the recovery email and number, the backup codes, the security questions answered a decade ago.
5. Starting A Planner And Stopping Halfway
There is a lot to capture, which is why so many families start writing it all down, and why so many stop partway.
I see the half-finished ones all the time: a planner in a drawer, a notebook with a few pages filled in, a document nobody else can open. A half-finished planner is a locked door with a note on it. It tells your family something exists, and then it stops.
That is not a lack of effort. They stall for the same reason every time. A blank page leaves you to work out what belongs on it, so you write down the obvious things and put it away. Twenty pages of empty tables cannot remind you what you forgot.
The One Book That Closes All Five
Every one of those families did something. What they were missing was one book that closed all five gaps, so nothing was left to memory and nobody was left guessing.
Two years ago I started collecting the planners families brought in and reading them against these five gaps. Most were a heading and a few blank lines. The Lamorial planner is the one I now point families to, because it does the two things the others did not. It covers all five, and it gets finished. Instead of blank lines, each page tells you exactly what to fill in: which bank, which card pays which bill, which email the security codes go to, and who to call first. 83 guided pages across nine sections, in a physical book with no subscription and nothing to log into. The USA Edition is compatible with all 50 states.
Here is what your kids will have, gap by gap.
| Where Families Stop | What Your Kids Will Have |
|---|---|
| Only one person knows | Everything you handle, in one book your kids can open |
| The will | Where everything is, in a book that sits beside the will |
| Passwords, but not the accounts | Every account, card, utility and subscription, and which card each one bills, so nothing is missed and nothing keeps charging |
| No way back in | The way back into every account: the recovery email and number, the backup codes and the security questions |
| Stopping halfway | A book that gets finished: every line tells you what to write, and a yearly review page keeps it current |
What Families Say About Their Lamorial Planner
"...It is helping me create a clear picture of everything I handle for the family."
Merle G, Lamorial customer"As a retired financial advisor... Closing estates has become increasingly complicated in this era of paperless statements, subscriptions, automatic bill payments... This planner helps you organize all those details and more in one place."
Wendy D, Lamorial customer"...it will make my executor's job so much easier! Passwords, confirmation codes and phone numbers used for them will be more than helpful for him."
Douglas M, Lamorial customer"It is easy to use and seems quite thorough. I feel like I can take it one page at a time, rather than being overwhelmed by the work."
Una H, Lamorial customer"I'm an attorney, everyone needs this."
Patricia P, Lamorial customer
Are The Families Who Get It Right Any Different From Yours?
No. They just finished.
They had the same will, the same card of passwords, the same husband who "knew where everything was." They did not care more, and they were not more organized. They had a book that told them what to write next, and they kept going. Then they told their kids where it lives, and their kids never had to guess. It is what I have told my own sister to do.
Many of the families I talk to order more than one: one to keep, one for a sister or husband, and sometimes one for each of the kids.
"Honestly, I was prepared to be underwhelmed... It turns out it is even more thorough and well-organized than I anticipated... I am filling out 2 of them so that each of my kids can have one..."
Marcia, Lamorial customer
You Have Thirty Days To Decide It Is Not For You
If you have bought a planner before and it is sitting in a drawer, it is fair to be cautious. That is how it goes for most of us, and it is nothing to feel bad about.
So I tell families the same thing every time: give it thirty days. Work through the first section and see whether it covers what your family would need.
If it is not the one, send it back. Every cent is refunded and returns cost you nothing.
USA Edition · Compatible With All 50 States
Buy one, get the second 50% off
Free shipping on every order. 30-day free returns.
- It arrives with free shipping, and you have thirty days to decide.
- Fill it in one section at a time. Each page shows you exactly what to write.
- Tell your kids where it lives, and they never have to guess.
- For Both of Us: One for you, one for your husband or sister.
- The Whole Family: One for you and one for each of two kids.
Try it for 30 days. If it is not the one, send it back for every cent.
Questions Families Ask Before They Order
What If A Password Changes?
It will, and that is fine. I suggest writing passwords in pencil and using the annual review page once a year to bring everything up to date. The part your family needs most changes far less often than the passwords do: which accounts exist, which email and number each one recovers to, what is on autopay, and who to call. Get that map down and a changed password becomes a small fix, not a dead end.
Back to the offer ↑Is It Safe To Keep Passwords In A Book?
Safer than most people expect. A book cannot be hacked, there is no account to break into, and nothing is stored online. The only real risk with a book is who can find it, which is why where you keep it matters more than anything. If there is a password you would rather not write in full, write a hint your family will understand instead.
Back to the offer ↑Where Should We Keep It?
Somewhere at home that is safe and easy to find: the drawer or cabinet where you keep your passport and important papers, or a fire-resistant box. Avoid a safe deposit box. It is often sealed until the executor has court papers, which is exactly when your family needs the book. Then do the most important part: tell your kids where it lives.
Back to the offer ↑How Is It Different From Other Planners?
Most planners give you a heading and a few blank lines, and leave you to work out what belongs there. This one spells out what goes on every line, across 83 guided pages and nine sections. It goes past the password to the second door: the recovery email and number, backup codes and security questions for every account. It also covers the household and the people to call first. It is a physical book, with no subscription and nothing to log into, and when your kids open it, nothing is left to guess.
Back to the offer ↑Is It Easy To Fill Out?
Yes. You never have to work out what to write, because every line tells you what goes there. There is no technology to learn. Take it one section at a time; you don’t need to finish it in one sitting. If you would rather type, the two- and three-planner options include the Fillable Digital Edition free, a file you can fill in on your computer or tablet.
Back to the offer ↑Do I Need A Lawyer To Fill It In?
No. You fill it in yourself, at your own kitchen table. It does not replace your will. It sits beside it and covers what the will leaves out: where everything is, how to get into it, and who to call.
Back to the offer ↑Is It A Subscription?
No. You pay once, with nothing to renew and no app to log into.
Back to the offer ↑What If I Don't Finish It?
Your kids still have every page you did finish. Most people I talk to start with the accounts and automatic payments, because those would cause the most trouble if they were missing. A guided book is easier to come back to, because you can see exactly where you left off and what comes next.
Back to the offer ↑